Belated Intro Post
ty again for being here old friends and new <3
It feels strange to do an about me at this point of my Substack journey, but as I mentioned in my inaugural post, I’m here to: be grammatically unhinged, share memes and musings, and defy arbitrary rules of linearity (this last point was not included in that post but noting it now for the record).
Some basics: my name is Denia (pronounced like Kenya but with a d), I recently turned 35, and I’m a capricorn sun, aquarius moon, cancer rising (in case you astro girlies are wondering, yes these placements are both a blessing and a nightmare). I’m a DACAmented Mexican eldest daughter doing my best to unlearn years of perfectionist programing while navigating the uncertainty of becoming an adult during the collapse of US empire. This blog/newsletter is my creative outlet to reflect on this experience and share learnings that are helping me get by.
On family: I have three younger brothers (2 pisces and an aries), all of whom are US citizens, and both my parents (geminis!) are now documented as well.
The painful yet comedic irony of being the only undocumented person in my family who is also an immigration attorney is never lost on me, but I’d like to think this factoid adds to my *spice.* After spending over a decade in deportation proceedings, my parents got their green card through one of my brothers when he turned 21, which marked the end of *one* long period of anguish. I remember bargaining with God during the 10+ years they were going to court and to their ICE check-ins, promising to “be good” and happy to remain undocumented in exchange for keeping my parents safe. My status we could figure out at a later date, I would tell God, but please prevent them from being deported. I had this same convo every night from 2001 - 2013 and lemme tell you, either I’m an excellent advocate, God was sick of me, or we got lucky (it was probs all three), because my family was spared from suffering a cruel reality that too many of my peers’ parents and loved ones were not. This experience, in addition to my own experience of navigating academia and the legal systems in the this country as an undocumented person, have radicalized me in ways that I go into more depth in in this post.
On career: While I am a lawyer by training—and I worked my lil tush off since I was 12 to achieve this goal—I’m currently in the middle of somewhat of a rebrand (professional pivot). In 2024, I was unexpectedly laid off. And while I’m learning that most bad bitches whom I admire (including grammy-winning queen Doechii) experience this at some point in their career, the timing and way this unfolded caused me to spiral. I talk a little bit more about the effects of this in my most recent post here. I’m doing a lot better since my menty b of 2024, however, I would generally not recommend this kind of professional detour during an authoritarian takeover.
On writing this Substack: Little Denia had to grow up fast, and while I am so grateful for the many coping mechanisms and narratives she used to help her get this far, many of those narratives and mechanisms no longer serve adult her. This space/virtual community is one she wants to tend to for little her, and for the little or adult yous who might resonate with anything I’ve shared thus far. I titled this Substack “How To Survive Your Flop Era” because I’m trying to release the shame and guilt I’ve experienced during this time of reconstruction by writing about all of the beautiful—even if sometimes painful—lessons I’ve learned. At times it feels indulgent and vapid to share all of the vulnerable and unhinged nonsense in my brain, especially when there is SO. MUCH. GOING. ON. However, when I think about the stories that have helped me during moments when my world was crumbling, the voices I most gravitated towards were those that were creating and existing in defiance of whatever horrors were persisting. I’m not saying I will be your go-to during this descent into fascism, but what I am trying to do here is practice giving myself permission to be human and write about the interpersonal and mundane. If that resonates, thank you again for being here and welcome, and if it doesn’t, that’s ok too <3
With love and LOLs,
Denia
Hey, Denia, Very glad to hear from you! Sounds like you certainly have been through a lot these past several years